I'm Not a Taxi
From Igad
This is a song I wrote in 2004 about a Saturday night in Bristol, England.
[edit] Lyrics
On a Saturday night
When I have nowhere to sing[1]
I like to go downtown
And do some listening
From the Old Duke and the Tantric and Mr. Wolfs they play[2]
I listen while 'most everyone
Talks the night away[3]
I am a loner and I'm awkward[4]
And I can't make conversation start
And it's easier to stay balanced
If you only have one heart[5]
But for courage I sometimes like
To have a beer or few
But tonight I came by car
What can a driver do?
Chorus
And I'm not a taxi
Rolling round on a Saturday night
I'm not a taxi
You can tell 'cos I ain't got no light
I'm not a taxi
I'm not going to take you home
You've had one too many
Get out of the road
You've had one too many
Please, get out of the road
At Mr. Wolfs for noodles
While the band is coming in
But my fingers twitch for playing
So I do some practicing
Then the trombone player asks me[6]
If I'd like to play
But my courage it deserts me
I put my guitar away.
There is someone there[7]
I'd dearly love to know
'Cos I know she likes my songs
But how far can a song go?
And in any case my life
Seems too complex as it is
I smile at her, she smiles at me
Let the fantasy commence
Chorus Repeat
I go off to the Tantric[8]
To see what's happening
But on the way I spy that long stretch limousine
With young girls doing their thing
With their heads thrust out the window
And their screaming loud and shrill
Who knows just what it is
That's giving them such a thrill[9]
The evening is almost over,
And back to Mr. Wolfs I go
But to my horror there's that drunk woman[10]
The one who never accepts 'no'
And she tells me that she loves me
And I politely refuse the gift
She asks me if I have a car
And please could she have a lift
?
Chorus
I quickly make my exit
And stop off at Ranato's[11]
And with a grapefruit and soda[12]
I watch the people come and go
Outside chaos is forming
As the alcohol runs out
The fights, the chips, the pissing[13]
Can the future be in doubt?
I finally get back to my car
I parked on Park Street[14]
And I'm dodging all the pedestrians
As they stagger off their feet
And as I'm driving by they wave to me
From the middle of the road
Thinking I'm a taxi
And I'm going to take them home.[15]
Chorus
You had one too many, get out of the road.....
[edit] Notes
- ↑ There are no open mikes on Saturdays in Bristol
- ↑ Three music venues in short walking distance of each other
- ↑ I guess I am just weird that way
- ↑ Yes, it is true. I guess I have since loosened up a bit though :P
- ↑ Cryptic comment
- ↑ This happened. I wish I could remember the name of the band. Maybe the trombone player will get in touch someday, saying "Hey, that was me!"
- ↑ Ah Fantasies...
- ↑ The Tantric Jazz Café
- ↑ Often seen on the streets of Bristol late at night, they like to scream out of the window at pedestrians as they pass by. It is some kind of rights of passage thing. Like "Oh if mummy could see me now! *Screamed Giggle*"
- ↑ This is a real person, but not the one on the video clip (obviously). However, the scene is uncannily similar to my experience at the time. From time to time I'd bump into her in Bristol and the conversations almost always took the same course, including the requests for a ride home, ending with me telling her to go away and she not seeming to understand that this meant "go away" until I demonstrated the meaning clearly by going away myself. She is somewhat notorious and has been banned from many drinking establishments in Bristol. It is one of life's mysteries as to why I attract such people; sometimes it is like moths to an energy saving lamp, when to my complete shame I wished I were a candle instead.
- ↑ A very long established Italian restaurant and bar a stone's throw from the old duke. It is a nice place with a great atmosphere and the best pizza in Bristol. The only shame is it has no live music. I wanted to organize something, but it became political with old Eddie "Not the train song on harmonica again" Martin, so of course I backed off and no live music happened. And in that way progress was made.
- ↑ My favorite non-alcoholic drink
- ↑ Chips = English term for fries. Bristol centre on a Saturday night is littered with half eaten bags of chips
- ↑ Not just an opportunity to be clever with the word "Park" -- it was actually parked on Park street that night.
- ↑ This always happens if you drive around late on a Friday or Saturday. It can be quite entertaining if you have no fear of running someone over as they make their over exaggerated gesture to hail you with a bag of chips and undone flies (zippers). Sometimes, one can feel a temptation....
